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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

LATEST

I met my new neighbor this last week. He just bought the old place down the road and moved here from a big city. He said, “I wanted to move to rural America because you just can’t put a price on family values.”

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My cousin is a doer. The problem with a doer is: Sometimes they’re doing good – sometimes they’re doing bad. In my cousin’s case, he generally has no idea what he’s doing.

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If you're reading this, you are one of the six people who read my column. Thank you. Actually, if you are reading this, then chances are you’re a farmer or work in agriculture.

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Life in the country can sometimes get a little boring. History reveals how boring things have gotten by the games we have invented (out of pure boredom) while doing our daily chores.

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I ran to the end of the road to catch the mailman. Well, it was more like a jog. Actually, it was a fast-paced walk. In all honesty, I strolled to the end of the road as if on a Sunday drive and yelled at the top of my lungs for the mailman to wait.

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Last week, I opened the mailbox to find an entire envelope of coupons, just for me. Apparently, these select merchandisers were giving discounts to their favorite customers. I opened the coupons as fast as I could while thinking, “Finally, all my years of loyalty to Corn Flakes, Old Spice and Fruit-of-the-Loom were being recognized!”

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