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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

LATEST

Life in the country can sometimes get a little boring. History reveals how boring things have gotten by the games we have invented (out of pure boredom) while doing our daily chores.

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I ran to the end of the road to catch the mailman. Well, it was more like a jog. Actually, it was a fast-paced walk. In all honesty, I strolled to the end of the road as if on a Sunday drive and yelled at the top of my lungs for the mailman to wait.

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Last week, I opened the mailbox to find an entire envelope of coupons, just for me. Apparently, these select merchandisers were giving discounts to their favorite customers. I opened the coupons as fast as I could while thinking, “Finally, all my years of loyalty to Corn Flakes, Old Spice and Fruit-of-the-Loom were being recognized!”

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Well, spring is in the air. The days are warmer, things are starting to green up again – and just last week I had a group of bird watchers show up at the farm. I inquired if they needed to borrow some birdshot. They looked at me like I had a talking parrot on my shoulder.

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The month of March brings with it some monumental celebrations such as St. Patrick’s Day, which is celebrated by eating corned beef and cabbage, Skittles and lots of green beer. This is a special day for some – but just another typical day for the people of Wisconsin.

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Let’s face it, farmers need money – more money – and more time. Seems like I can never get enough done in the day, and I’m always trying to cut some milk production costs too, so I had the bright idea to start a day care on the farm.

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