I’ve been pondering the state of veterinary medicine in the new millennium. These subjects deserve deeper thought or at least a master’s degree thesis:

• Why a barber and a surgeon should never say, “Oops!”

• The plethora of chickens and the dearth of poultry practitioners

• The value of veterinarians in the war against bioterrorism

• Is there a place for grooming in an exclusively reptile veterinary practice?

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• Recipes for traditionally inedible species

• What do you think of the “placebo effect” in veterinary medicine?

• What are the tricks you use to help remember where you left your glasses or car keys?

• What do you think of men in veterinary medicine? A thing of the past?

• How to deal with barn-sour children?

• Cell phones – how to add pressure and convenience to your practice

• The future of leather shoes, purses and seat covers made of doghide

• The new prestige of meat inspection veterinarians

• Do you have difficulty resolving Genesis and evolution?

• The value of Chinese herbal medicine in non-Oriental species

• What do you think of homeopathic cures for baldness, dandruff and dog ticks?

• Do dogs have a heaven?

• Body piercing in veterinary medicine – fashion statement or cruelty?

• Humane euthanasia techniques in an insect veterinary practice – squash or spray?

• The use of wood chippers in poultry euthanasia

• If humans are evolving, what major physical changes will occur in the next 100,000 years?

• How veterinary school affected your eating habits

• Acupuncture in marine mammals – does blubber affect the meridians?

• Why is free advice (from Whole Foods checkout girl or uncle who works at sale barn) always worth more than advice you have to pay for?

• Have veterinary specialties, like First Premolar Dentistry, Polydactal Primates and Alternative Uses for Vestigial Organs, become passé?

• What do you tell the parents of a child who wants to go to vet school?

• Who else goes to sleep memorizing the Krebs cycle? PD