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Ryan Dennis

Ryan Dennis is the son of a New York dairy farmer and a literary writer whose early essays were originally published in Progressive Dairyman.

LATEST

This past year, our television sets have asked us a very fundamental question: Where’s Jill?

The query was posed by a concerned horse, and a quick answer was given by a white dog with a Southern accent: She was really lonely and out walking the cornfields again.

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I had always considered tea an effeminate drink.

I should clarify: hot tea. Surely, hard-working men would have a glass of ice tea in the summer coming in from the fields. Hot tea was, well, girly ... or worse, urban.

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“God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers,” exclaims Dr. Ian Malcom, staring at the recreated dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. It turns out, Spielberg might be a prophet.

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My grandfather, Dieter Kramer, had always told me: “Ryan, don’t be drinking the water beer.” Water beer was his term for any domestic lager. It was as fine a metaphor as any other for life.

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One of the biggest news stories last year was undoubtedly missing Malaysian Airlines Flight 370. The Boeing 777 left Kuala Lampur International Airport on March 8 heading towards Beijing and in mid-flight disappeared from all radar systems.

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This week I am going to give an academic conference-style presentation on a mutated calf fetus that mercilessly slaughters Irish people on a dairy farm.I have spent a lot of time in the university system: as a student, lecturer, researcher – and now as a student again.

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