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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

LATEST

Well, Tim here with your yearly reminder that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. If we’ve learned anything from the holidays, it’s that credit cards and yoga pants both have limits.

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There are two places that I cannot stand to hear crickets. One is outside my bedroom window when I’m trying to sleep. And second is in a room of 500 people that I just told a joke to.

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The ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It’s a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.

—Erma Bombeck

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I remember the first time I ever saw a man with a toupee! Our family was coming out of church on a windy Sunday.

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My grandpa always had a saying, “There is no house big enough for two families.” And that’s why he was the greatest single-wide trailer salesman ever.

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Well, kids, it’s fall again. Festivals, costume parties and college football. I’ve talked about festivals in the past, and you know my view on college football. I root for whatever team is playing Ohio State.

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