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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

LATEST

I know I’m not the only one who has ever waited, waited and waited for a return phone call from a parts dealer, repair person, salesperson or loan officer. Seriously, how do some of these people even stay in business? They always tell me, “I’ll get back with you later today,” or “We should be out there tomorrow.”

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Studies show less than half of people who start a New Year’s resolution follow through and actually commit to the task. So I’m just guessing ..... New Year’s Day – probably not the best day for a wedding.

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On the first day of Christmas, my milk check was sent to me. That’s all it was. An official check – with no commas.

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If you were in 4-H or FFA, you probably still remember the first animal you took to the fair. I really wanted to show my pet pig at the fair, but my parents were right. The whole idea of a fat kid leading a pig around on a leash … nobody needs to see that.

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As Thanksgiving draws near, we think of harvest time, turkeys and the in-laws. The latter two are basically the same. They both show up empty-handed, stuff themselves and never thank you for having them for dinner. Thankfully, most of the time, the turkey is the only one that shows up naked.

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Farmers, as a group, have been misrepresented. People who watch TV think farmers just sit in front of a peanut bucket while whittling a stick and talking about local gossip. Now, some of my best friends gossip. In fact, old Milt was telling me he saw Billy down by the grain bins ... I digress.

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