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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

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I’m not gonna lie. As a farm kid, I dreaded when school was out for the summer. Ahh, when school gets out for the summer to a farmer’s kid, what does it mean? Three times the work and no money. I failed algebra three times on purpose just so I could stay in summer school.

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Let me take you back to a time of innocence. A time when I thought everything was legal as long as there was no game warden around. A time when I thought all the best places to hunt ducks had huge sand boxes, manicured fields and flags every couple hundred yards to help find our way back to the truck.

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I hate to sound like that old guy on a bench, drinking free coffee at the hardware store, but remember when things were simpler? The good ol’ days before social media, Uber and Double-Stuf Oreos.

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Summer solstice is supposed to be the longest day of the year. It generally occurs between June 20 and June 22. Scientists say the sun shines longer on this day, which makes this the longest day of summer.

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Doing what I do, I get the awesome opportunity to travel all over North America trying to make all kinds of farmers laugh. Some places I perform, crowds are much more reserved.

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As farmers, we get bored easily. So a lot of farmers drink. And when farmers drink, things happen. Amazingly, some of these farmers have made it into the Guinness Book of World Records.

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