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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

LATEST

What do the Easter Bunny and the IRS have in common? Well, this year, they shared the same week in our lives.

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Have you ever met someone who was always grumpy? Sure you have. I know we all have our moments – and sometimes days.

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There is an old saying, “Don’t lend money to a friend – it causes amnesia.” And there’s the other saying … Where am I? Why is there a computer in front of me? Oh, that’s right, I’m writing an article for Progressive Dairy.

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Well, Tim here with your yearly reminder that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. If we’ve learned anything from the holidays, it’s that credit cards and yoga pants both have limits.

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There are two places that I cannot stand to hear crickets. One is outside my bedroom window when I’m trying to sleep. And second is in a room of 500 people that I just told a joke to.

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The ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It’s a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.

—Erma Bombeck

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