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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

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Dear Santa,

I hope all is well with you, Mrs. Claus and the elves. I know I haven’t written in a long time, but many things have changed since you were here last Christmas. I just wanted to give you a heads up.

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Well, now they are potty-training cows. I learned how to do it only to prove to my mom I was smarter than my brother. That’s right, they now have developed livestock latrines – or what scientists are calling a MooLoo.

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“I’m actually smarter than you think I look.” That’s what all politicians would have you believe about themselves. Then they speak, and all hope of intelligence is lost.

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You know you’re a farmer if your “big outing” for the year is a farm show. You might say, “Well, Tim, our big outing is the local county 4-H fair.” Is the 4-H fair really a stress-free time? Heck no.

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Yesterday we looked into the sky. A strange haze hung in the air that smelled faintly like smoke. We turned on the news to see that it was from the wildfires burning 3,000 miles away.

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I’ve often pondered on how agriculture is paired with not only feeding everyone, but how agriculture has also teamed up with other products and services that have gone mainstream.

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