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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

LATEST

I think it would be safe to say we were all delivered into this world by our mother – unless you’re Gary Busey or Nancy Pelosi. I’m pretty sure aliens dropped them off. Because they both seem to be from another planet.

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Every day is Earth Day to a farmer. We do our best to care for the land and animals God has provided for us. When I hear “Earth Day,” I automatically think of Woodstock, Birkenstocks and funny-smelling cigarettes. Or a typical day in Boulder, Colorado.

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They say April showers bring May flowers. You ever wonder why or how that phrase came about? Well, Wikipedia won’t tell you this, but I have done some extensive research and studied many ancient artifacts to reveal the true beginning of the phrase “April showers bring May flowers.”

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They say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Thankfully, for a lot of us, there are people with horrible eyesight. Vision is probably the most dominant of the five human senses and controls our feelings toward how we react or respond in any situation.

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We’d all like to think we’re perfect. Nobody’s perfect, except for Chris Farley in the movie Tommy Boy. We all make mistakes and, supposedly, we learn from them. So, class: “What have we learned this year?”

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This is a reminder to all male farmers: Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Just a tip from your adviser here; this is not the time to buy something for the farm and tell your significant other, “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

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