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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

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They say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Thankfully, for a lot of us, there are people with horrible eyesight. Vision is probably the most dominant of the five human senses and controls our feelings toward how we react or respond in any situation.

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We’d all like to think we’re perfect. Nobody’s perfect, except for Chris Farley in the movie Tommy Boy. We all make mistakes and, supposedly, we learn from them. So, class: “What have we learned this year?”

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This is a reminder to all male farmers: Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Just a tip from your adviser here; this is not the time to buy something for the farm and tell your significant other, “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

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I know I’m not the only one who has ever waited, waited and waited for a return phone call from a parts dealer, repair person, salesperson or loan officer. Seriously, how do some of these people even stay in business? They always tell me, “I’ll get back with you later today,” or “We should be out there tomorrow.”

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Studies show less than half of people who start a New Year’s resolution follow through and actually commit to the task. So I’m just guessing ..... New Year’s Day – probably not the best day for a wedding.

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On the first day of Christmas, my milk check was sent to me. That’s all it was. An official check – with no commas.

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