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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

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To most people a dog is the family pet. A dog on a farm is a working dog. That’s why you never see a poodle or a dachshund on a farm. And if you do you see one, it’s not for long. Small dogs tend to “run for their lives” back to town after meeting the barn cats.

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Rodeos are a showcase for cowboy abilities. Everyday work on the ranch is put on display, including the new guy they dressed up in a clown suit and put in a barrel for his initiation. However, people are not showing up by the busloads purchasing tickets to see farmers’ abilities.

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As a kid, I would see pictures of big, new, shiny tractors in the magazines and remember thinking, “One day, I’ll have one of those.” Now, 40-plus years later, I have the willpower to breeze right over those advertisements – because I could never afford one.

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Last week, I received a letter from my insurance company explaining safety tips for using fireworks on the farm. At first I thought, “What kind of insurance company would actually encourage pyrotechnics on the farm?”

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Recently, I entertained for the Tulare County Farm Bureau in the Central Valley area of California. I highly recommend people-watching at LAX airport. These people make fun of us for county fairs?

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The thought of “homemade” usually brings a warm fuzzy feeling combined with magical rainbows; however, not all homes should be manufacturing plants. My dad always said, “Homemade products aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.

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