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Tim Moffett

Tim Moffett is a Florida dairyman and stand-up comedian. Read his humorous take on the dairy industry in his regular column, "The Manure Spreader."

LATEST

The thought of “homemade” usually brings a warm fuzzy feeling combined with magical rainbows; however, not all homes should be manufacturing plants. My dad always said, “Homemade products aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.

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It has been brought to my attention that dating among farmers has taken a new approach. There are now websites just for single farmers to meet other single farmers. Long gone are the days of being introduced to a potential suitor by a family member.

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I’ve never read an instruction manual or how-to book in my life, but somehow people keep giving me their broken stuff – and this perplexes me. Even if it were working, why would I want it?

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Have you ever wondered why the Olympic games are held in huge cities around the globe but never in McCool Junction, Nebraska, or Gillies Corners, Ontario?

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Clichés are the English versions of ancient Chinese proverbs. I think people who use clichés are actually saying to you, “I don’t have the time or patience to talk to you about your problem, so here is some wisdom I read on a coffee mug.”

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As a dairy farmer, I am always thankful for the human body’s need for vitamin D, disposable latex gloves and the fact that it doesn’t snow here in Florida. Never has – except on that cold winter day of 1976 when my brother thought a snowflake landed on him.

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