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The Manure Spreader: Clean roses

Tim Moffett for Progressive Dairyman Published on 30 March 2018

They say April showers bring May flowers. You ever wonder why or how that phrase came about? Well, Wikipedia won’t tell you this, but I have done some extensive research and studied many ancient artifacts to reveal the true beginning of the phrase “April showers bring May flowers.”

Basic English 101 would say April showers is a complete sentence by itself. April showers. Subject, verb, done. Maybe April’s family didn’t have a septic tank, and all the gray water from the house just flowed outside to the nearest garden plot. Like me, I’m sure many of you grew up with the same set-up. So what would make April’s bathing routine any different?

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Earlier historians believe the phrase “April showers” truly meant rainy days in the month of April. Eddie Rabbit’s “I Love a Rainy Night,” Ronnie Millsap’s “Smoky Mountain Rain” and Milli Vanilli’s “Blame It on the Rain” are all proven facts that if someone was to talk about the effects of rain, the actual word rain would be used.

To further prove my point, do you think Gene Kelly would have made it famous with a song called “Singing in the Shower”? Or, better yet, more recently, you think Luke Bryan would be one of the highest-paid country acts with a song called “Shower is a Good Thing”?

I think the word “bring” is used literally in this phrase. Bring, the outcome of something. Nothing to discuss further here. Unless you’re still trying to figure out who Milli Vanilli was.

Mayflower is one of the largest moving companies in North America, based on the ship used by the early settlers. Now, this might be a conspiracy theory, but here’s what some think. “April showers bring May flowers” was actually the motivational speech to keep the Pilgrims motivated and on course to the new land.

“We’re sorry this ship wasn’t equipped with washing machines or running water, but we promise you when we hit dry ground we can all take a much-needed bath.” I’m thinking the Mayflower was the original Carnival cruise line.

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So, Tim, what is the original translation of the phrase “April showers bring may flowers”? Well, we all know the second week of April is famous for the dreaded Tax Day. “April shower” originated from the phrase, “I just paid my taxes, I’m broke again, and all I can afford to do is cry!” The second part of the phrase “May flowers” is slang for a “bouquet of roses and daisies.”

“April showers bring May flowers” literally means “Stop and smell the roses because all that is guaranteed in life is taxes and you pushing up daisies.” Stay tuned next time as I break down the phrase “I’m with Stupid.”  end mark

Sign up for the e-mail list to see Tim’s upcoming “Manure Spreader Comedy Tour” at Tim the Dairy Farmer.

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