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Tim the Dairy Farmer: Farm Raised

Tim Moffett for Progressive Dairy Published on 06 August 2021

I have a comedy album called Farm Raised. On the album, I make fun of the way farm kids grew up. Take, for instance, my first sleepover at a friend’s house.

I ran home seven miles, down a dirt road, in my Scooby-Doo underoos when my friend’s mom said it was time to “put us to sleep.” That phrase means something different to a farm kid. I also mention how great 4-H was because we were allowed to skip school just to show our favorite farm animal. And the fact that the only year I ever received a blue ribbon was the year I showed a pig. As a fat kid, the judge shook the pig’s hand and put the ribbon on me.

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On the album, I try my best to explain the farm lifestyle so non-farm people understand. So here are some things about growing up on a farm the rest of us truly understand.

We all had chores. What are chores? Chores were the things you had to do before and after school. How many times did we miss the bus or were late to school because milking went late or cows were out? I remember wearing my barn clothes and rubber boots to school because I didn’t have time to change clothes before the school bus arrived. On a good day, I had time to change clothes, but I never had time to take a shower. I was there to learn, not set personal hygiene standards. I remember when we were studying bacteria and fungi in biology class. The teacher asked to take samples off my shirt.

It wasn’t just school days we were late. I don’t think I’ve ever been to church, funerals, weddings or a doctor’s appointment on time. Being late was one thing, but sometimes we’d miss the event altogether. When it’s time to harvest or sort cows, school and the rest of the world didn’t exist. I’ll admit I still use that excuse to get out of things I don’t want to attend.

I previously mentioned the only time I was allowed to stay the night at a classmate’s house. However, I was always allowed to invite others to come over. Free labor! I had plenty of friends who came over … once. They never came over again. The farm was fun, but they hated the work. I do know that growing up on any type of farm has given all of us the best of work ethics. In fact, I’ve heard of people who have gotten high-paid positions because during the interview they mentioned growing up and hoeing beans, tasseling corn or sorting cows. I was accepted into college because I knew the difference between hay and straw.

Good work ethic is great, but working smart counts for much more. For example, letting your brother take all the credit for a chore you helped him with. Why? If you did a good job with that chore, that chore became yours permanently. end mark

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A special thanks to all of you who have emailed me some great topic ideas and stories. If you have a topic or a real-life “it’s funny now” story you’d like me to write about, please visit Tim the Dairy Farmer or email Tim Moffett.

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