Dairy life in 5 words or less

Compiled by PD staff Published on 10 January 2017
cows walking

On every dairy, there are a few key phrases that you can shout across the barnyard in a single breath or mutter discreetly out of your mother’s hearing that are usually met with appreciative chuckles or a groan and a few choice words. We have gathered a few of these gems for your enjoyment. Does anything sound familiar?

“Who left the gate open?”

It’s a fact of life cows get out or in the wrong pen. Most of them can’t climb over gates or fences, though, so somebody has to take the blame. Wasn’t me.

“No, I wasn’t sleeping.”

This is one of the greatest lies ever told, along with “I agree to the terms and conditions.” This is what you say when someone calls you at 3 a.m. with an emergency, and then has the nerve to ask if they woke you up. This is also what you say if someone catches you napping during that consumer trends seminar.

farmer sleeping

“Cows are out.”

All it takes are three little words. Well, there goes dinner, financial statements and everything else you were planning on doing for the next hour – make that two.

“Parts run, anyone?”

While online shopping may have cut down the number of visits to the closest implement dealer these days, sometimes next-day shipping still isn’t fast enough. That leaves you to ask around for anyone who might have time to make a run for parts to get your equipment back up and running, but who knows what else you’ll think of “while you’re at it”?

“There go those milk prices.”

Just like the weather, the mailbox price of milk is always changing. Whether up, down or in between, there is always something to be said about the price of milk and how it is impacting dairy farms across the country.

“Barn hair, don’t care.”

This one goes beyond “hat hair,” as it not only describes the disheveled look, but also embodies the smell of dairy air that instantaneously saturates a lady’s hair the second she steps into the barn. There is not always time for a good washing and drying before heading to town. My apologies to the daycare ladies and my fellow Wal-Mart shoppers – yes, that smell is coming from me.

“The pit’s full.”

This phrase is one most dairy producers keep on the down-low. Cross your fingers and say a prayer.

showing cattle

“Don’t let go of the rope.”

Showing livestock is one of the most gratifying and character-building experiences for a kid, and it’s packed full of little life lessons like not giving up. Some of us learned that the hard way when we tied a rope around our waist and were drug across a gravel lane by an unruly animal while breaking it to lead. On second thought, maybe the lesson here should be don’t tie the rope around your waist.

“Skid steer rodeo.”

There are some dairy workers with mad driving skills when it comes to operating a skid steer. These cowboys don’t need a horse to get the job done.

“Stop dropping off cats!”

Dairy farms are not animal shelters for stray cats and litters of kittens. Hopefully, your neighbors will get that memo someday.

“The milk inspector’s here.”

Never fails. You forgot the milking inspector was coming on the morning just about anything that could go wrong, did.

“Who used the last ... ?”

We’re not just talking toilet paper, folks. Realizing you’re out of a critical item generally happens at the most inopportune time.

It’s nice to know you’re not the only one, isn’t it? What did we miss? Share your five-word dairy story with @PDmag on Twitter using #5WordDairyStories.  end mark

PHOTO 1: Live life like someone left the gate open – just make sure you shut it behind you.

PHOTO 2: Catching a few winks in a slow moment is a skill quickly mastered by dairy producers.

PHOTO 3: Showmanship 101: Never let go of the rope. Staff photos.

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