They say, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Thankfully, for a lot of us, there are people with horrible eyesight. Vision is probably the most dominant of the five human senses and controls our feelings toward how we react or respond in any situation.

Moffett tim
Comedian
Tim’s Stand-up Comedy Special “MILK’N IT!!” is available on YouTube. Go to his website to find li...

What may be atrocious to some could be downright jaw-dropping gorgeous to others. This is where the scientific phrase “beer goggles” originated.

Most people usually try to look their best even if they don’t have much to work with. You may think to yourself, “Ahh, I don’t worry about that kind of thing, Tim; my appearance isn’t a priority in my daily routine.” No? You wore clothes today, didn’t you? You look better to everyone else already.

Beauty and appearance isn’t just confined to people. There are beauty pageants for everything. Classic cars, antique tractors, prettiest pie competitions, art exhibits, gingerbread house contests, and the list goes on. Everything is being judged by appearance.

I thought I’d heard of most of the pageants in the world, until I heard of a camel beauty contest in Saudi Arabia. Yes, camels. Here again, “in the eyes of the beholder.” Where I live, when I hear of camels, I just assume my granny needs another pack of smokes. Just like in Saudi Arabia – they’d probably flip a gasket if someone told them about a bacon festival.

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Now, I’ve been to cattle shows, seen the movie Best in Show and even entered the heaviest pig contest during my time as a kid in 4-H. You knew I was a fat kid when the judge put the ribbon on me and shook the pig’s hand (no applause, please). But back to this camel beauty pageant.

The reporting news article’s first line read, “Batty eyelashes, pouty lips and perfectly placed humps” and I thought, “This is an episode of The Kardashians.” This beauty contest consists of 30,000 camels. Everyone in Saudi Arabia must have walked to work that day.

The prize winnings for the contest is over $30 million. I say we all sell our cows and buy a couple of camels. Even if our camel just got voted “best personality,” we could retire. At the show, 12 camels were disqualified and a veterinarian was in hot water for injecting Botox in the camels’ lips, noses and jaws to make them look more appealing.

Apparently, according to the judges, the camels’ looks scared several small children. The only reason the plastic surgeon/veterinarian got caught was because all the camels looked identical to his only patient in the U.S. – Kathy Griffin.

My friends, we all look different for a reason. That way we can all make fun of each other’s driver’s license and high school yearbook photos. My mom always told me, “What matters is on the inside; beauty is only skin deep … and always wear clean underwear.”

My grandpa would always have loving words for my granny about her beauty. He’d tell her, “Sweetie, you’re gorgeous on the outside, but sometimes the barn needs painting.”  end mark

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