Editor’s note: This article is the second in a series geared toward dairy industry salespeople and other allied industry representatives. Read the first article here. In this article, I continue to share some thoughts of how to take Carnegie's time-tested prescription for relationship and business success and apply it to agribusiness.
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it
Whenever we argue with someone, no matter if we win or lose the argument, we still lose. The other person will either feel humiliated or strengthened. In every field, there will always be some experts who have highly valuable technical skills but are not great at dealing with people. They oftentimes argue with co-workers or customers because they think they are the smartest in the world, and you have to either follow their ways or the highways. Granted even if you are right at an argument, you will still for sure lose the relationship or business. We must try to avoid arguments whenever we can.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions: Never say ‘You're wrong’
We must never tell people flat out that they are wrong. It will only serve to offend them and insult their pride. For example, you may want to sell a feed product to a dairy farm to help out their issues, and you have to get both the dairy producer and the dairy nutritionist on board. Imagine if you just go to the farm and tell them all the things they have done wrong with the nutrition program. I can assure you that you would offend them (especially the nutritionist) and they will not want to work with you. An alternative strategy would be to praise what they have done right and provide suggestions for improvement in a gentle way. If we subtly and indirectly show people mistakes, they will be more likely to improve.
3. If you're wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically
Whenever we are wrong, we should admit it immediately. Many years ago, a salesman in our company made a mistake by delivering the wrong product to a farm. Even though the wrong product looked exactly the same as the correct product, he admitted it quickly and compensated the farmer. That farm has since been a loyal customer for over 20 years. When we admit that we are wrong, people trust us and begin to sympathize with our way of thinking. When something goes wrong, taking responsibility can help win others to your side.
4. Begin in a friendly way
If we begin our interactions with others in a friendly way, people will be more receptive. Sometimes customers may not be friendly, especially at cold calling, but even if we are greatly upset, we must be friendly to influence people to our way of thinking.
5. Start with questions to which the other person will answer yes
Do not begin by emphasizing the aspects in which we and the other person differ. Begin by emphasizing and continue emphasizing the things on which we agree. We should lead customers where we would like them to go with questions that they will answer with “yes.” Don’t push them to make a buying decision in the beginning. Instead, ask questions like, “Do you want to save money?” or “Do you want to improve your profitability?” and get them say “yes” and show them how.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking
People do not like listening to us boast – they enjoy doing the talking themselves. Even if it is your idea and you are trying to sell them that idea, it would be more effective if you can let them rationalize and talk about the idea, because it will taste much sweeter to them in their own mouth.
7. Let the other person feel the idea is his or hers
People inherently like ideas they come to on their own. If you are selling a new feed product to a farm through the dairy nutritionist, you need to let the nutritionist feel it’s his own idea of choosing to use the product rather than been sold. Ideas can best be carried out by allowing others to think they arrived at it themselves. If we want to influence people, we must learn to frame our desires in terms of others’ desires.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view and be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires
We must seek to understand other people. No matter how passionate you are about the product you are selling, your customers may have financial difficulties and simply cannot pay the bill. If we can sympathize with others, they will appreciate our side as well and will often come around to our way of thinking. In times of financial difficulties, your customers may quit on you. Instead of walking away, you should be sympathetic with them and continue to build up the relationship by finding ways to help them get out of the difficulties. Success in dealing with people requires a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint.
9. Appeal to the nobler motives
Everyone likes to be glorious in their own eyes. People believe that they do things for noble and morally upright reasons. If we can appeal to others' noble motives, we can successfully convince them to follow our ideas. If you are working with organic farm producers, you can understand that oftentimes their nobler motives are to produce healthier foods for the public or use fewer chemicals on the farm that could potentially harm the environment. If we can find out the noble motives of our customers, it would be easier to build rapport and sell them the right products that can serve their noble motives.
10. Dramatize your ideas
In this fast-paced world, simply stating a truth isn't enough. The truth must be made vivid, interesting and dramatic. Great salespeople are great storytellers. A boring presentation can easily turn the audience off, and a great presenter talking about the same product can easily get other people excited. If you are not excited about your products, how can you get other people excited about your products? Sometimes ideas are not enough and we must dramatize them.
Hopefully, with practice, we can better apply these principles to our daily life and our professional agribusiness field, and we will be more effective at communicating with people and serving customers. If you enjoyed this article or the one that preceded it, read the basis for these ideas presented in How to Win Friends and Influence People, written by Dale Carnegie and first published in 1936. It is one of the most influential books worldwide. 
Kai Yuan, Ph.D., PAS, is a dairy technical services manager for Quality Liquid Feeds.
